Just another day in paradise

Well, it had to happen at some point.  Just seemed to have to happen this week.

Back in December when the idiot doctor at Seacoast Hospital told us that dad was on his last few weeks of life, sent him home ordering hospice to come and fill the house with all kinds of medical crap we didn’t need, we were shell shocked.  Kinda numb.  At the time, it was Dr. Potti who brought us back to reality and asked dad if he was ready to die.  Dad said no, and Dr. Potti agreed.  He said that he’d tell us when it seemed to be the right time.

So, if you’ve been reading all along, you know what happened with Dr. Potti.  If I could sue 60 Minutes for what they’ve done to my dad, I would.  But, since he had cancer BEFORE they ruined our lives, I’m sure we wouldn’t win.  I will, however, never watch CBS news ever again.  If you love me, neither will you.

Back to what I was talking about.  Without a friend/doctor such as Dr. Potti, we’ve been struggling for the past 3 weeks.  Dad floats in and out of reality, sometimes able to get up, other times unable to move.  He is in pain, but then not…he is lucid, but then not.  And then, Tuesday night, he was unable to get into the bathroom.  Couldn’t walk, couldn’t use the walker, couldn’t use the cane.  I just am not strong enough to carry him (I’ve already hurt my back WAY beyond what I’ve suffered thru in the past)…and I had to cancel doctors appointments for Wednesday, and next Tuesday (well, they actually called to cancel next tuesday…)

It was not an easy decision but mom and I realized that we were overwhelmed.  We have no doctors to help us, we have no one to relieve us so we can go shopping together, or really have a calm meal or even walk our dogs together.

After discussion, we determined it was time to call Lower Cape Fear Hospice back and see if we could get him admitted.

Am I happy?  Well, happy isn’t really the right word.  I’m a bit less stressed out.  But I wouldn’t say happy.  We know now that a nurse will visit once a week (more if needed), a CNA will come out 3 times a week for an hour to help with personal grooming, etc…(for him, not for us!)  A volunteer will come and sit with him once a week so we can do errands. A nurse and a doctor are on call 24/7/365 for us if we need help.

No hospital stays anymore.  Everything we can do to keep him comfortable, and home.  Oh, and did I mention they have a social worker who can help us with…like everything else in the world.  Not to mention that if we need a chaplain, we can get one of them too.

Happy isn’t the right word, but slightly relieved is okay.  I’m relieved now because the medical decisions aren’t all mine any more.  I have someone.  Again.  Like we did when we had Dr. Potti.

Oh.  And while I thought for a while that he was getting yet another infection, we had two sets of blood cultures drawn and grown.  No infection.  This is likely just the next stage of the affects of cancer.

Just another day in paradise.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

About maryaquino

Food, rock and roll and greyhound lover
This entry was posted in Dad, God, My Thoughts and Musings, Service to Others, The Bible and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Just another day in paradise

  1. Lindsay says:

    So sorry to hear about your family is going through, but I’m glad you’re getting some reprieve.
    Hang in there. 🙂


  2. Mary, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Oh, those dreadful decisions and the deep loving desire to fix what you just cannot fix and a sea of “what if I” or “what if I hadn’t” and on it goes . . . I remember feeling a lot of that when my own Dad was passing. Hospice is a God-send for sure. It still won’t be easy, but some pressure is lifted. You’re in my prayers along with your family.


  3. Kim Gillen says:

    So happy you have hospice to help; and so happy your Mom and Dad have you! ((hugs))


  4. jeff duke says:

    Mary – My dad passed May 12 2009 from cancer. He was bed-ridden for about 2 1/2 years before he finally succumbed. The sad thing was he was actually getting physically better, but just got tired of fighting and gave up. I can promise you 3 things. Time will help heal the pain. Good memories will begin to replace bad ones. 1, 2, 3 years from now you will still cry when you think of him and the things you want to tell him. Hospice will take care of him – you and your mom will also need to learn how to live again when he passes. My step-mom was with dad every day for those 2 1/2 years and didn’t leave the house. She is finally travelling a bit again in the last year – it’s hard on everyone, but when he passes his pain is gone – yours will remain. Let me know if I can help.


  5. Patricia says:

    Beautifully written, Mary. My thoughts and prayers are with you for continued courage and strength. Much love to you.


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