Journaling your Grief

English: Santa Claus with a little girl Espera...

English: Santa Claus with a little girl Esperanto: Patro Kristnasko kaj malgranda knabino Suomi: Joulupukki ja pieni tyttö (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, this week I’ve been to two grief and the holidays seminars (on purpose…to see what each had to say).  They were similar.  I would hope so, since…well…I’d just hope they were similar….although presented by different groups of people.

Let me back up one step for those of you who are just getting to know me thru these blogs.

The holidays have always been HUGE in this family.  Although Thanksgiving was never the biggest shindig in the world, we always celebrated, made way too much food, and drank too much…well, whatever was around.

Christmas, on the other hand, was WAY out of hand.  Antone was a Christmas fanatic.  Mom might have been too…but dad always did the “deck the halls” kinda thing.  Matter of fact, last year we were amidst a health scare and dad was concerned he wasn’t going to be able to decorate aptly.  We did a lot of it for him.  The house turned out pretty good.

Of course this is our first Christmas without him.  So, we’re teetering on the brink of “do we change?” or “do we stay the same?”  Right now we’re doing a few things differently for Thanksgiving – we’re having dear friends over for dinner on Thanksgiving.  We will, however, keep the family tradition of Stevens’ Oyster Roast on Friday night.  Can’t miss THAT treat.

Christmas, right now, is leaning towards the overly familiar.  Presepio must be taken out and started Friday.  That would be the day after Thanksgiving.  And, we’ll need to start finding all the Christmas stuff….

Tossed in amongst all this – is the fact that I’m getting married on January 26.  So, I have appointments and things to do, and all that.  All intertwined with holiday stuff.

Christmas, for a “same” as it will be, will have some differences.  Yes, we’ll still start the day with Whiskey Sours.  But we’ll probably take each moment of the day as it comes.   Maybe I’ll make the breakfast casserole, and we’ll eat along with presents.  Or maybe we won’t GET many presents.  Or…

I think we’re going to have dinner Tapas style for Christmas.  Some Italian stuff, some grilled lamb chops, some veggies…Don’t really have a menu yet.

Back to the grief seminars – so, these two seminars had two similar themes.

1.  Be good to yourself (cut yourself slack, don’t push to do too much…etc…)

2.  Journaling is one way of dealing with grief.

Everything else was pretty similar too…small variations on the same theme.

I kept thinking…I don’t really journal.  But, I share this stuff with you – whether it’s a recipe, a story, a rant…all this is one way that I journal.  Of course, I don’t do it anywhere near as regularly as they say we should.

Quick thank you to:  Lower Cape Fear Hospice and Jean Pelletier at St. Brendan‘s.  Both presented great seminars, and it was clear across the board that both Jeans (LCFH’s seminar was presented by Jean Roney) were well studied in grief counseling.

More on the holidays as they approach.


About maryaquino

Food, rock and roll and greyhound lover
This entry was posted in Crazy Random Thoughts, Dad, Journaling and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Journaling your Grief

  1. Hey, Mary. You’re doing great, sister. Funny, the folks, myself included, who write a lot have, in my experience, been less strategic and devoted to an orderly and updated journal experience. Me, I have notebooks of all sizes and they are everywhere. No matter which purse carried, which room I’m in, or whether it’s front seat or back seat in the car, there’s a notebook of the size to fit, and a couple of pens/pencils. That being said, there is no library of ordered and nearly recorded journals. I probably never really “journaled” at all until somewhat recently when someone counselling me insisted on it, and that being said it’s still not all orderly. Funny thing though. Writing it down and purging it via pen or keyboard is both revealing (to me) and healing (to me) but I say, try it and do what brings you peace. Having lost my Nana and my Dad and others who were huge in my heart, I know how “it” can be for me. Best advice I can give is be sure to love Mary and take care of her.


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