I’m not sure how we’ve made it through this year. Really…
Things change, time passes so quickly but I’m just not sure. So many things have happened…and yet we all have felt this empty feeling because they happened without Dad.
Y’know, I don’t cry enough about it. But I kinda realized last night that I have not had time to cry. I have to be the rock that everyone stands on cuz everyone else cries. I’ve had my moments for sure…but not like you’d expect.
I truly was daddy’s little girl. I never exploited it, but I was PROUD (most of the time) to be Antone Aquino’s little girl. And yet, I think if we counted tears…well…I would be the drought zone of this “tragedy”. I’d be Central Texas…while others would be the areas around the Mississippi River.
When you read about grief, you read that everyone grieves differently. I’m hoping this is my method of grieving because otherwise, something big and bad and hairy and scary will happen if the flood gates open. I’m suggesting we might need IV fluids I may cry myself dry.
I celebrate his life. But in these moments sitting in the dark, I wonder…is this the moment I will cry? Will I actually let go and lose it?