One Year Later


I’m not sure how we’ve made it through this year.  Really…

Things change, time passes so quickly but I’m just not sure.  So many things have happened…and yet we all have felt this empty feeling because they happened without Dad.

Y’know, I don’t cry enough about it.  But I kinda realized last night that I have not had time to cry.  I have to be the rock that everyone stands on cuz everyone else cries.  I’ve had my moments for sure…but not like you’d expect.

I truly was daddy’s little girl.  I never exploited it, but I was PROUD (most of the time) to be Antone Aquino’s little girl.  And yet, I think if we counted tears…well…I would be the drought zone of this “tragedy”.  I’d be Central Texas…while others would be the areas around the Mississippi River.

When you read about grief, you read that everyone grieves differently.  I’m hoping this is my method of grieving because otherwise, something big and bad and hairy and scary will happen if the flood gates open.  I’m suggesting we might need IV fluids I may cry myself dry.

Or not.

I celebrate his life.  But in these moments sitting in the dark, I wonder…is this the moment I will cry?  Will I actually let go and lose it?

Nope.

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About maryaquino

Food, rock and roll and greyhound lover
This entry was posted in Crazy Random Thoughts, Dad, Journaling, My Thoughts and Musings and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to One Year Later

  1. Suzie Paul says:

    Grief does affect each of us differently – because no two people are alike – and no two relationships are alike. However, for your own emotional and spiritual health, I would strongly encourage you to seek an opportunity to spend time with either a very trusted person (who isn’t also grieving your dad’s death – someone you don’t have to “be the rock” for) with whom you can be open and share your heart, or a professional therapist/mental health professional who you can trust and who can “take” whatever your heart needs to divulge. You should do this for yourself – in honor of your dad. He would want you to take really good care of his “little girl”. Because that’s who a part of you will always be! And you’ll wear it as a badge of honor!

    Like

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