This is a strange post to write. It’s been two weeks without Coombsy and to be quite honest, I am not 100% sure how I have made it through without falling to pieces every day.
I told you all before about how we (Coombsy & I) had ups and downs…and we went through a lot together. She really did teach me quite a bit…and caused me to dig deep into myself to figure out what kind of weight I put on my dogs as a founding member of Greyhound Pets of America Charleston.
See, I expected Coombs to be Flyer at first. I don’t know why I expected that. I knew she wasn’t. And I knew that each dog would be different..and each would hold a different piece of my heart. I really didn’t EVER expect that her piece would exceed every other animal’s piece. She surprised me.
Stuff still rolls around in my head – times I should have spent more time with her. All the amazing things she put up with. Her tired, scared eyes the day she passed. I can’t get that out of my head.
Here’s the thing. I thought that being in the room when she left us would make me a stronger person…that it would make it easier for me to let her go. It hasn’t. It has been as difficult to get her sweet face out of my head…maybe more…than Free Free and Flyer. I couldn’t be in the room with them…and I thought I owed it to her.
Now that I’m rambling, and crying, I just know that it was the most difficult day of my life so far – even harder than the day Dad died….because I knew I had things to do when Dad died. With Coombsy….I was left alone. Now…please know that my husband and my mom are here with me, they are also important, and I don’t want anyone to think I am saying the dog was more important than they are.
She is in my heart…but my heart is a little empty right now. And I’m sad.
I miss you princess.