Wondering

So I have begun wondering over the past few years about when the view of our personal future changes. In other words, when do you make that switch from “upwardly mobile” to “hanging on ’til the end”? And how do you deal with that?

My life and career has centered around the company I work for (poor sentence structure, sorry)…for many years. Let’s just use an ambiguous term of “many” here. And I am frequently asked where I see myself in __ years. I may be short-sighted, or just complacent but I don’t have that vision anymore. I used to struggle with the answer because I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now I struggle because I see retirement in my future and I’m gonna guess that’s not the answer most forward-thinking companies look for.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have any intention of slowing to a crawl as my “days are numbered” or shelving projects because I have lost interest. I love what I do. It’s challenging and exciting. Most days it’s not depressing to go to work (although it is increasingly difficult to get UP for work). I love writing, and I love my co-workers, and I love the industry we work with. I do feel strongly about education and I believe in the power of a nonprofit organization to change the world. I think that the little bit I contribute to my company’s success is an important little bit because if you’re not learning, you’re not alive. So, I don’t think that I’m winding down…not at all.

I do worry, though, because I see myself sitting here (or in a slightly nicer version of my office as it stands now) working for the same company, learning more about the business we are in and learning more about my craft. I don’t see myself climbing a corporate ladder or reaching to be a manager or a director, or a vice president. I don’t see that.

Funny…as I typed that last sentence I realized I’ve been a president of a “corporation” for a few years and I walked away from that drained and beaten down…my own fault, I know but it happened and it was real so…

What do you think? Where are you in your corporate cycle or just career cycle? Do you look UP the ladder, laterally, or down? When you’re asked those ever-painful questions of “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” are you able to pinpoint a place and reply? Maybe I am just waiting to see what I’ll be when I grow up…if I grow up.

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Tartan

I think that will be my next dog’s name.

A long time ago…let’s say at least 30 years ago…my mom had this book SOMEWHERE that showed all the tartans registered in Scotland. And I used to love looking at it because I’m a sucker for plaid. I had a kilt as a kid that I totally loved. No clue what happened to it but at some point kilts went out of fashion, and then (surprisingly enough) came back into fashion. And, I believe that was around my high school years. I somehow convinced my mom that I needed another kilt. I’m wondering where that sucker is right now…is it still hanging in my closet in Summerville?

Anyway, the point of this wasn’t so much about the kilt but the book. I can see it in my minds eye. Page after page after page of tartan plaid. Dad always liked Black Watch. I was more fond of the reds, russets, and purples (again…SHOCKING). I think I knew I was part Scottish. But, I totally couldn’t remember which last name in my mom’s heritage was the Scottish last name.

Did you know that the tartan book is now an ONLINE thing? Yet again….SHOCKING…Google search tartan and  you’ll see there’s a tartan registry. So what did I do? I started entering family names from my mom’s side…the ones I knew. Well, I admit, I really knew that Curtis was the French Canadian, so I had to go with my nana’s maiden name. Elliott.

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Meltdown in….


So, I had two brief meltdowns today. Might just be the pressure of um…life, or…life in general. If I were a drinking sort, I would be trashed right about now.

Maybe you’ve had a day like I had today before. Looking back at it, I don’t see one particular event that caused tears or raging, however both happened today.

Was it having to speak with a person at the insurance company?  Well, no. She was all together pretty nice. But completely unable to help me. Was it that I can’t seem to fill out a request form correctly to save my life? Maybe. But probably not. Was it that in the midst of probably one of the most emotionally traumatic points in my life, I’ve had to stand on my head and spit quarters just to “get at” something that by all rights is mine to have, but impossible to actually get? Yeah…that could be it.
And much of the rest of the day was uneventful. Except the now-traditional having to act like the adult in the house again. I hate adulting.

Until this evening when I was just trying to wind down from the over-woundness of the day…and that one person whose voice you JUST DIDN’T NEED TO HEAR called. Yup. Of course she did. I might have been a bit blunt when I cut her off and hung up on her. I might have felt a teeny bit of remorse until I consulted with the family and received the spiritual pat on the back I needed. I guess it was the wrong day to be THAT person calling here. 

The ensuing verbal tirade trying to purge myself of all the pent up frustration of the day was maybe a bit much. Sometimes ya just gotta blow off steam.

And….the day ends with a shower, some relaxing Facebook posts, and maybe a glass of water. Stick a fork in me. I’m done. Can’t wait for the upcoming Tropical Storm Hermine. Yay.

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Mushroom Almond “Fried” Rice

I have a renewed desire to make fresh, veggie-rich, fiber-laden dishes lately. Today, while thinking I was gonna make a mushroom-spinach-feta omelette for dinner, I realized I might have just a little too much in the omelette. Therefore, I decided to use up the brown rice from Thursday night with my sautéd mushrooms, onion, and garlic. This may be a no-brainer but here’s what I did.

1 small sweet onion (Vidalia if in season)

1 large clove garlic

8 oz mushrooms (any kind)

Olive oil or olive oil spray

1 cup left over rice

1 tbsp chopped almonds

Chop the onions and garlic together and sauté in olive oil or spray about 5 min until slightly soft. Chop the mushrooms into bite-sized pieces and sauté until soft. Add the rice and saute until completely warmed through and slightly crispy. Toss the almonds in and cook for about 5 minutes. Season to taste.

Serve with a protein or as a main course.

If you try this, let me know how you like it.

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Binge Watching?

imgdragonfly-in-amber1I have to admit to binge watching stuff in the past. Like Sons of Anarchy. Or Fuller House. Or Gilmore Girls. Or Royal Pains. Or Last Man Standing. Okay. I’ve binge watched a lot. Now-a-days, I’ve found a better thing than mindless TVing…Kindling. Yes, that’s my new term (use it if you want) for binge reading using my Kindle. And, it seems I’m stuck on reading Outlander. Every one of the books. It’s been 4 weeks and I’ve read 3 of them (yeah, that’s not ripping thru them at lightning speed but some other stuff is going on right now that I’m not going to get into).

I had read at least the first 3 books about 10 years ago then leant my copies to someone…at some point….

About a year ago, Amazon had the entire series (except, I believe, the most recent volume) on sale for some ungodly price like $6.99…I think there were 7 books…

So, I have these books. And I’m reading them. Much to the chagrin of Jim. Well, not really but sorta. It’s a nice diversion – books instead of Facebook. I like it.

Don’t mind me. I’ll be over there, with my Kindle. Kindling…the Outlander series. Yup.

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It’s All About Love

When I think of these tragedies that besiege us, I am reminded of Matthew 28, where we are commanded to make disciples of all, teaching what Jesus commanded. He commanded we love one another. I don’t know much about other religious mantras however, since My God is a God of love, I find it hard to believe in any “God” that directs his believers to kill. Even the Christian holy wars (for those of you gearing up to blast me) were not directed by God Almighty, but man. The new covenant with us, a sinful people, was that we have been washed clean by the Blood of The Lamb and therefore we shall no longer die but live on in Heaven along with the saints who have gone before us.

So, why does God make these heinous things happen? He DOESN’T. See, there’s this thing called free will. We have the ability to choose to follow God Almighty, the God of Love or “the other team” as Jim calls it. The other team may be Satan, or may be some other diety that is not a loving diety.

I’m not well-versed in other religions so I single no one out specifically. And, I am aware that as with Christianity, there are many “flavors”. Most Christian flavors believe in that all-loving God of Grace.

So, here I am rambling on about God (oh, Mary….AGAIN?) and praying that those affected by violence….those mourning a loss….those fearing society is doomed and with it so are we….I ramble on in a way of processing the continual  (pardon my French) shit-ifying of this world we were given to take care of….we should be preserving the environment, caring for all creatures, and loving/helping one another. Yet we are doing none of the above.

I’m going back to praying for peace. I am praying that animals, children,  and those who cannot care for themselves are cared for. I am also praying that the future holds some sort of hope. That’s just the way I am.

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Posted in Crazy Random Thoughts, God, Journaling, My Thoughts and Musings, Service to Others, The Bible | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Colorado Rocky Mountain High

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No, not what you think.

This was an amazing trip. If for no other reason that I met four people I have “known” online, but had never met before (Shawna, I am saying this before we meet, but that’s happening in the morning.) And it was amazing. Ah-maze-ing.

But then I got to do a 5k (almost) and drive to the summit of Pike’s Peak (almost)….Lisa understands.

I saw some of the most amazing scenery I have ever seen. I was awed to tears several times.  I loved the breathtaking views of the majesty of God’s creation and I want to come back here with Jim because it is a really cool place.

Now I have to do the maniacal race back to Denver International Airport tomorrow so I can make it home to my love.

Whirlwind. Awe-inspiring. This trip was all that and more.

Picture is Pike’s Peak and Mike, Lisa’s car.

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A Tale of Two Tesla Friends

I started to write this last night but fell asleep.

I had the opportunity to meet some people yesterday that I have know for a while have never met in person.

Cindy and I had lunch and then she had a great idea to go see Red Rocks. Of course it was amazing. The ride out to Red Rocks was beautiful and the conversation was fun.

After I got back from Red Rocks. I got in my car and drove to Colorado Springs for dinner and to meet Lisa and Jeremy. This meeting was a year…well, actually fifteen years in the making. And, Lisa is the reason I’m here in Colorado to begin with.

My goal is to have pictures and stories from the Lung Force walk in Denver tomorrow so… stay tuned!

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Wow What A Day

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So, this is my little way of journaling my trip to Denver for the Lungforce Walk and Broncos 5k with my friend Lisa.

Here’s the quick catch up. I’ve known Lisa for years. But by “known” I mean mostly as Peli…..short for her Tesla message board user name. We, as Facebook friends,  have gone back and forth about running a 5k together. Last year, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung cancer. She is an amazing voice for lung cancer awareness and one of the strongest people I know. And this year….here I am in Denver…mere weeks after she has been found NED (No Evidence of Disease). Here I am.

So, I’m totally exhausted but wired. I’ve been up for around 15 hours…wait, maybe 16…and I am in bed watching Food Network. Yeah, my life is exciting.

****Can I also say that as excited as I am for this weekend, I miss Jim sumthin fierce.

And…..picture is the crazy big TV in my room.

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Pounds after pound cake

So, after a wonderful post about pound cake, I’m going to post about my “fitbit” and all. Yeah, talk about a turn around.

I’ve been using my Jawbone activity tracker for about a month when either the app died on me, or the jawbone did…and so I was activity tracker-less…just when I hit a 2nd highest Saturday yet. Of course….I tracked 13K steps on my phone and that thing ain’t too accurate so, I’m sure the Jawbone had more. But it refused to update my Up app. Not helpful at all.

Fitbtit Flex was on sale on W00t! so, I got one. In red. and I’m charging. I’m trying to follow the instructions but I’m just not sure I’m doing this right. Oh well, we’ll see, right?

I think that my activity tracker kinda taunts me tho.

Flex

Imagine this, but in a kinda deep red, close to fuchsia. That’s it. So…those of you who use them – the battery and tracker is in that little black thing, right? And my directions said to charge it until it flashes at least 3 lights. Um, it flashed 5 lights right away when I plugged it in and yet it didn’t vibrate when I pressed it during the Bluetooth sync. Anyway, I’ll figure it out or be really frustrated.

Oh, the taunting thing. I’m active. 4 days a week. The other three, sometimes I’m active, sometimes not. So…on those three days…it’s like the activity tracker is staring at me laughing and expecting me to … well, be more active. It’s kinda freaky.

Here’s hoping that Fitbit can surpass the lifespan of Jawbone (although I actually liked the Up app, and the Jawbone itself…’cept that the model I had was no longer made.)

I’ve joined the ranks of those incredibly hip excercisers and have stepped (pun intended) into the fitbit stage of my life.

More later. Or maybe not.

Oh yeah…the funny from the other day – indicating that the reason the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years was because Moses was trying to maximize his steps on his Fitbit. Yup. That would be me…NO! LET’S WALK JUST A LITTLE LONGER!! I’M ALMOST AT 20K STEPS!!!

 

 

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