I’m in a life-phase right now that many of you (all twelve) haven’t experienced with me in the past. I recognize the signs. If you haven’t known me since the 80s, you may not. Hell, if you HAVE known me that long you may not recognize the signs.
The crazy I feel like I’m going through happens to be a more positive crazy than the last two times. Previous times have resulted in all out moves (to California, from California, to North Carolina…see where I’m going with this?) But I don’t feel like that this time. I guess my advancing age has me taking some of the “positive impact” features while leaving the negative ones out. Maybe it’s cuz I’m 55 now (my piss poor typing skills just had my fingers type 44 instead of 55. Is that wishful thinking?) and I know my purpose in life is currently being where I am doing what I’m doing right this minute. Maybe I just grew up a little bit. GASP.
Anyway, the crazy does still include obsessing over the music I can’t help loving. And so, I’ve had a few of my favorite bands on repeat. Okay, I’ve had Warrant on repeat for two weeks now. But, I feel a slide over to some other band coming in the near future. Why does this merit an entire blog post? Here’s why:
- This music has always encouraged me to “be my best me” – I’ve got a super-critical eye when I look at myself and there have just been a few things I couldn’t seem to get “on top of” in the past seven years (read back thru old blogs, you’ll figure them out)
- This music has always inspired me to play the guitar. Or more creative. I am unsure if it’s nostalgia driving me to remember the days of playing my guitar along with all these songs pretending some day I would play in public (not talented enough to do that so don’t go there) as the *next Nancy Wilson* or some sort of insane dream
- This music has always driven me to write. Used to be poetry I believed would some day become song lyrics but today it’s trying to get those crazy “love stories” (using that term very loosely) down as they tumble around in my head.
I would be lying if I said that the idea of giving it all up and joining the circus (I’m using little Mary metaphors there…) didn’t creep into my head. But (and here comes the GROWING UP thing) I’ve got responsibilities. I hate having responsibilities. Really. If I could just have the responsibility of driving to see concerts for the next ten years, I don’t think I would complain.
And, so I blog. I’m hoping blogging about this will kinda unblock the creativity block I’ve run into – not just my personal writing…a little blocked in the professional area too. I’ve never struggled so much to get 10 words down for two days…it’s killing me. And the stuff I’m writing after work is flat too. Not exciting me, not flowing. Honestly, Saturday it was rolling out of me like a broken faucet. Sigh.
If playing loud (and I do mean loud…I’m hard of hearing, if you didn’t know) Warrant (and other bands at some point) music unblocks this friggin clog in my brain, I will be eternally grateful to the soul of Jani Lane, and to all the other members of Warrant (including Robert Mason…Rockaholic and Louder Harder Faster are GREAT albums!)